CROQUETAS, OR THE ZEN WAY TO KITCHEN SERVITUDE

Croquetas, or croquettes, is a traditional Spanish dish. Something that every mother does to recycle leftovers and that everyone appreciates. They are soft, tasty and satiating. It doesn't matter if the kids didn't quite like the superb fish you cooked last night, they will devour the croquettes made of its remains.

But they are a hell of a job, the kind of job only a dedicated master housekeeper can afford, meaning someone whose main job is to run the family home and meals.

To begin with, it implies that you have previously cooked a meal that for some reason has not been totally finished. Maybe someone failed to join the meal, maybe there was not enough appetite, whatever, you just don't cry over it and set to mince the leftovers completely disregarding your cook's feelings and put them aside (both).

Then you cook a nice bechamel, which is always tricky and sticky, if you're lucky. Once it's done you mix it with the minced leftovers and leave in the fridge until next day. Next day arrives and you have a perfect goo to work with and you whip an egg and set a bowl with flour and another one with bread crumbs. Now you are ready to get hands on to it, fine, great, it's no errand for the faint hearted, but you're not, so you get your hand in the sticky goo and shape it, then you coat it in flour, then in egg and finally in bread crumbs and set aside.

The process goes for like a dozen times (or more, depending of the amount of leftovers) and you'd better not feel the need to scratch your ear, wipe your nose or pull out your hair in the meantime because your fingers will be coated in several layers of flour, egg and breadcrumbs and the size of Godzilla's.

When you're done with that then it's time to fry them in a generous amount of very hot olive oil, with its joyful sparkling of miniature goddamhotandpainful fireworks that leave your stove all sprinkled with oil and smelling like a street fast food stand.

But finally the croquettes are done, looking glorious and smelling delicious...and they'll be gone in about five minutes.

My mom never made croquetas. Instead, and against my dad's will, she got us a dog. She made us happy and got rid of the leftovers issue in one go. I must have taken after my dad, who had a mom who made croquetas, bless her heart.